After my wonderful yoga class and one of the first liberated mornings I've felt in a while, I received a couple of money related emails and a message from H. Immediately...spin...La Moja devolves into Barely Alive and Kicking...
So, H comes back Monday afternoon and I need some tips, new ones, recap, what have you, for building up the mojo and sustaining it.
On the upside, sad as it is, I FEEL much more matter of fact. We are no longer a pair. I get it. D is most likely outcome (struggling with the logistical limbo issue). I don't feel "in love" with H. I don't pine for him. I don't long to have sex with him. I don't think he's the one that got away. I DO think that we have choices. It is sad that we can be friends and are attracted to each other and are not choosing to make efforts to stay together. That is it. That's my truth.
So, he has lost much of his mojo in my eyes, but, I really lose focus when money comes up or logistical conversations in general (just realizing that is the button). I'm sort of ok in limbo but the conversations involving money, kids, living arrangements...I go back to oh no, not Divorce!!!!
I think money, parenting, future living plans, etc are always hot button issues in any R. I know they have always been uncomfortable subjects in my M - throughout all of it.
I think this comes back to assertiveness and communications. Know what you want (step 1) and then ask for it.
The first part (clearly defining to your self what it is that you want) always seems to be the hard part. I would focus there - define it and write it out for yourself) before he comes back on Monday.
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
I think money, parenting, future living plans, etc are always hot button issues in any R. I know they have always been uncomfortable subjects in my M - throughout all of it.
I think this comes back to assertiveness and communications. Know what you want (step 1) and then ask for it.
The first part (clearly defining to your self what it is that you want) always seems to be the hard part. I would focus there - define it and write it out for yourself) before he comes back on Monday.
If you do it for me, I'll do it for you...
Can't decide if I want to initiate legal action (legal sep or D), move out, stay here and keep cultivating my own thing so that I have some stability when D goes down...there are so many variables. I don't want D so how can I initiate it??? But, I don't want to have such a loosy goosy arrangement either...
"I'm thinking, I'm thinking"...(see Night at the Museum?)
