"The A has been going on for 18 months, I found out 15 months ago. Not so new, SIGH."
..but your H gets posted (recently for 7 months??) so you cant really look at it the same way in terms of time, as he hasnt had 18 months WITH ow has he?? Maybe it will take a little longer for the sheen to wear off, if its going to, seeing as there are long periods of separation.
I agree Ali. I think she is forgetting that, though, and she is starting to push--I am positive she is at the root of this sudden need for a visitation schedule. She will push him away by getting desperate and making demands on him--especially if they continue to hurt the kids.
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I agree with 25years.. as Kalni said, they only seem to want to come back when you really let go. I was at that point, I was also surprised at my bf's attempts to sudenly want back. I had started to explore the possibility of another R, with someone else and I had also told him "I accept it.. I love you and I want you to be happy, but if you want her and that makes you happy and all you have to offer is friendship, then I will take freindship, but you have to let me know". Around this time, I then went to a party till 7am which I was vague about and it seemed to REALLY spook him, wondering who I was with...(it was all innocent in fact).
I thought I was showing him I had moved on before, but I hadnt really. And he knew it. I think they can 'smell' that you are still there, a done deal, waiting.. when you actually start to move on and let go and you feel it, it frightens them and they FINALLY have to make a choice.
xxx
I have moved forward in my life, but I am not interested in another R. If that is what it is going to take to bring DH home, than I guess I will be alone. With four children to think about, I am conscious of the choices I make. I am married, no matter how my DH acts, and I am not free to date anyone else, even if I had an interest. I have realized that I make my own happy and I do not need a man in my life to achieve that, although they can enhance it. I am living life and enjoying it.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
