Snodderly I agree with you, and I appreciate your time you put into your posts to me. I respect your opinion. I know people can change their minds, I understand. I think about my xh but I dont think about him as much...I dont think. It is true that I have not let him go completely. I dont know if I have read about anyone on here that has let go completely to be honest. Some of the ones that have a new person in their life, well maybe those have, but I dont think the majority has...unless its someone like yourself. It's so hard to do. Snodderly the reason I keep asking about MLC and WAS is I get mixed up about the two. I know was walks away and some say never look back. BH says because my xh divorced me so soon, this, in his opinion, makes him a was. I have tried goggling WAS, but all that comes up is was and mlc together. This confuses me, it makes me think they are one in the same. I know people say MLC stays confused. My xh has showed signs of both of these. I guess it all boils down to this. I am scared that we have zero change if he is WAS. SO, I am praying that he is in MLC, which really is just as bad. Regardless this is my way of thinking. I am trying to hold onto anything that may give a chance for us to reconcile. Also, I dont see my xh, so he has no way of knowing that I talk on here and that I am still "obsessing". I think as far as he thinks, I have accepted this. Plus, I really dont think he cares right now, the only thing I see him caring about is his new woman. He has given up, friends, his hobbies and more for her. She most be the most important thing in his life right now. I pray for him daily. I want to stand sooooo bad. I am trying, but at the same time, I am getting out and doing things. I do have fun and laugh again. I just come here to post about my xh. I will try and start posting things I have been doing for myself lately. I AM doing better, but I DO still think alot about him, and I do still wonder what happened. Snodderly to tell you a little bit about me and my personality...I am the type of person that hates to lose at anything. This includes arguments, games, sports etc. I DO NOT give up easy. I DO NOT like something to get the best of me. I will study study study until I figure something out. I think that is what I am doing with my sitch. Agree? I also CAN NOT stand it if someone is upset with me or dislikes me. It bothers me SOOOOO much and I dont know why. This comes into play also with my xh. I would rather be his friend then not anything at all.....EVEN after what he chose to do. Is their a name for this? Why am I like this? Is anyone else like this? I will sit and dwell on something til I figure it out. See what I mean??? I cant let it go. I want to, but its like I have to figure out what went wrong. I have always done this throughout my life in different areas. I dont know if its the dective in me or what. I am a Scorpio and Scorpios are best at being dectives. lol Anyway just wanted to try and let you understand me a little better. I WANT to get better and let go for now. I hardly EVER stay home at night. I am always going somewhere or doing something. I dont like to be at home, because when I sit, like I am now, I think, think, think and then I come here to write. I am getting very tanned. I am trying to lose weight...this is ALSO HARD! I work and will soon be starting school. I am trying to do some Photography again. (I hadnt picked it up since this all happened) I visit friends and go out to eat. I am trying to enjoy myself. This Friday, my son will be 19!!! I can not believe it. He has grown up so fast. I miss him being a little boy and needing mommy. He does however, still kiss me on the cheek from time to time.lol I love it too! My nephew is getting out of school soon, so we will hopefully get to do things together. My son is still looking for a job. His dad is trying to help him out, he says. I sooo hope he goes to college. I want him to.
Thanks again everybody for being here for me.
Hugs, Renee
P.S. Snodderly I miss the Archives. Have you heard anything?
