I think you're right Kenn in that the key is doing things together. Last year we both just stopped trying to do all the little things and that led to doing more and more separate activities. Not that I'm willing to give up my own things, nor do I want him to give up his own things. But we are making more of an effort to do things together.
BF did say that 95% of the time he was fine with what I planned. And yes, he does prefer that I do the planning. And I do try to plan things that I think he would like to do too, not just me. But I am plagued by the feeling that he won't speak up when I have things planned that he doesn't like or want to do. I have to trust him to speak up.
Regarding planning in general: I realize that I could use some more spontaneity and that's one of the things he brings to the R. But what you non-planners don't understand is that many of the cool things we do require advance planning and will not happen otherwise. For example, BF would decide two days before a holiday weekend that we should go somewhere. Yes that would be fun but everything was booked for that weekend months ago. And he would be shocked that everything was booked, even though I mentioned it months ago and this is the fourth consecutive time he tried to throw something for a holiday weekend at the last minute with the same results.
So for now I'm trying this approach - taking turns every other weekend planning something. If he doesn't plan anything on his weekend then I may make my own plans without him. And if he really wants to spend time with me but just wing it then he can say he plans to have no set plans.
We do have the same problem with not liking the same movies. I like a wide range while he sticks to action and comedy. We've both been surprised to like/love the other's choices every now and then. So we need to keep those moments in mind.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
