I agree with your advice, problem that comes up is that he feels overly rejected when I don't want to spend some time with him. It is also part of our overall pattern to spend a lot of time together and then cut off for awhile - I want balance but his view of balance means that I am rejecting him or punishing him - he thinks if I don't want to spend some time with him that I really don't want him or I don't feel about him the way he feels about me. In the past, in his R, he and the other person spent all time together. I am used to doing most things together but enjoy time to myself. I never had someone act so insecure before - it is hard for me to manage that kind of thinking.
So, I feel that if I do what is healthy it will look like our negative pattern in action and puts him on the defensive. And yes his committment is more genuine than before so I want to support the positive and believe in him. Is it understandable that I wonder about myself and decisions to support him?
