NDS I wouldn't necessarily avoid contact with your wife, it could cause this to escalate. But I would avoid this subject. Wait until she comes home.
She could very well believe this is a kindred soul and nothing more. Not realizing the emotional connection that is forming. It doesn't excuse her behavior, but it's how she's justifying that. Trying to get her to see your side of this, right now, is pissing in the wind. This is filling a need for her and she can't see beyond it. IMHO.
It may also be time to stop snooping. You know what you know and more information is just going to hurt you right now. Give yourself time to get centered now and see what your gut tells you. Or maybe you know what your gut is saying and need time to process that. You know your truth.
Make no decisions at this moment. You don't have to. Try not to put any further spin on this information, it is what it is. Be kind to yourself.
WT
WT I was trying to catch up with everyone before I left work to say thanks for stopping in, but ran out of time when I got to you. Didn't want you to think I was ignoring, and actually wanted to reply to what you said.
Why do you think it could cause things to escalate if I were to avoid contact over the next few days while she is away?
The night I found the text log, I was torn between calling her and telling her, and waiting until she got back. When I finally did end up talking to her, I was still not sure I was going to say anything.
When she asked if there was something I wanted because I had texted and not gotten her, I said..."No, not really..just missing you a little...it's been a while now and I've had enough alone time."
Was that a pursuing remark to an AWAW? Maybe, but remember...for a year now, even with her reminders, our time together..or maybe 80 - 90% of it has been like that of 2 newlyweds.
Yes, some cool periods in there, but days or a week, not months at a time.
Her response was a very cool...oh, do you?
I said.."and you don't miss me just a little?", to which she replied with another cool...ohhh..husband.
Her remarks at that point are what made me start the R talk. I think what hurt so much about her response was that she couldn't just lie a little...like maybe just an "oh, yeah..just a little"...be sarcastic..joke it off.
It's not like when she left we were in the middle of some fierce battle. I'm pretty sure we had ML sometime during the week before that...gone out to dinner..had drinks..stayed home and watched TV together and chatted....brought her coffee or tea at work..hugged..kissed.
I prepped the car for the trip and set them off with a wash, wax and vacuum.
She didn't miss me, but she had been in constant contact with her BF since she left...there were wake up calls early in the morning, and late night goodbyes...1, 2, 3AM.
I'm digressing...I'm tired, stressed and still trying to think about eating...and getting pissed all over again as I write this..
My point was, why would I WANT to have any contact with her, and how could it make it any worse?
