WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 10

[confusedinpa]

No problem. I expect the same 2x4's when I mess up.

The only thing I would have avoided was this:
"I tried to listen and respond with "Oh, that can be just so frustrating" or "I can't believe that" or "You are right, that is ridiculous when they do that"."

You should have just said mmm-hmmm if you wanted to acknowledge her, but I don't think it's right to dismiss it the way you did. She's going to have to realize that she's hurting your boys badly. While you don't have to scold her for it, you don't have to invalidate their feelings. Especially when you said it's "ridiculous" when they act a certain way. It is not ridiculous. They are young kids.

Stuck,

I was trying to work on reducing the length of some of my posts, but I guess I should have put a little more details into what I was responding to with my comments.

She was getting frustrated about how when the boys go to bed, they keep finding excuses to get back out out bed - i.e. I need a drink or I think I heard a noise or My bear fell on the floor, etc. I definitely agree it is frustrating when they do that - usually for about 3-5 times before they finally go to bed, about 30 minutes after they are put to bed. They only do it 1-2 times to me, but even that gets frustrating to me.

When she was talking about something that they would ask for something in particular for breakfast and then after she made it, they weren't hungary, I said "I can't believe that" .

The latest thing is how they are both fighting over the TV in the morning and at nite. They would spend 10-15 minutes fighting about it and then if turns out it was suppose to be the 3 year old's turn to pick, he usually picks what the 7 year old was trying to watch to begin with. That is pretty ridiculous, in a funny sense.

So she wasn't saying things that discounted/invalidated their feelings. She was just complaining about things that she was getting frustrated that they did. Personally, I think it's funny because they don't do anything like that with me.

Sorry for the confusion.

And thanks again for the 2x4