WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 10

[MrBond]

No problem. I expect the same 2x4's when I mess up.

The only thing I would have avoided was this:
"I tried to listen and respond with "Oh, that can be just so frustrating" or "I can't believe that" or "You are right, that is ridiculous when they do that"."

You should have just said mmm-hmmm if you wanted to acknowledge her, but I don't think it's right to dismiss it the way you did. She's going to have to realize that she's hurting your boys badly. While you don't have to scold her for it, you don't have to invalidate their feelings. Especially when you said it's "ridiculous" when they act a certain way. It is not ridiculous. They are young kids.

I have a feeling that if you validate her actions of pushing the feelings of the kids to the side, then it shows her that she was right. The same as when she slapped your son. She can bitch and moan all she wants about herself, but she shouldn't be taking it out on your kids.