WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 10

[confusedinpa]

So in other words, there needs to be some dialog/communication to set what the expectations are from both people to create the partnership. Or perhaps that is the part of what KittyFish wrote of taking the time to listen and to intimately know the other.

What would you be doing for your W if she had the M she needs?

She has the answer your job is to find out.

I had asked her this, not in the exact words, but from what I've gotten was that right now she feels that I still don't get her, meaning understanding how she feels and "knowing" what she needs based on understanding how she feels. It almost sounds like mind reading to me. She says you can see it in some couples how they can look across a room and be able to see how each one feels by the look in their eyes. I'm not sure how realistic that is, but I am trying to figure out how she is feeling when we are together. I'm not sure if that is really what she is looking for or just her excuse for holding onto the hurt.

I do know my wife wants to be felt loved. Her languages of love are physical touch, then words of affirmation and then quality time. They were each almost scored identically. I have to be careful about the physical touch, but I do try to do non-sexual touching. I try to use words of affirmation when I talk to her. Quality time right now is a challenge as she doesn't seeem comfortable being around me. So I'm shifting now that even if we are chatting on the phone, I try to use words of affirmation and make the time we spend chit chatting as high quality as possible.

Not sure if that is what she needs but you are right, she does have the answer and I do need to figure out....