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[MrBond]

Start out with a schedule first. The kids do need structure. You can't be so flexible that if the kids start saying they want to stay at "dad's" you'll let them whenever they wanted to. They'll start saying things like, but you let us last time, etc.

Of course there are times when things come up and you would hope that both you and your H have enough respect for one another to take turns when things like that come up. The thing is that kids shouldn't be treated like a commodity or pets. They need equal time with both parents unless of course one is in an unhealthy environment.