WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 10

[MrBond]

"I hate what I had done to get us to this point. I have learned my lesson and will continue to learn from it for the rest of my life."

Have you read anything that we've posted here? Stop blaming yourself. Your W is clinging to a "hurt" which, yes, is pretty dramatic. You and her can't live in the past. You're just frustrated and the main reason is because 1) you believe all the self-serving crap she's been dishing on you and 2) you haven't forgiven yourself.

Well M is a two-way street. Both of you made mistakes. So what? You're only human. Forgive and move on. Let's face it...your W has some major self-esteem issues. Look at her fluctuating weight for one thing. All she does is complain about it, but does she do anything about it? No. She would rather complain about it.

It seems like that's your W's response to everything. It's not my fault. If only someone else could. Blah blah blah. She's gotta take responsibility some time and you can't shoulder everything.

She's hurt, fine. She's an adult. Let her deal with it because you can't change how she thinks and you can't control it. Simple as that. But you're allowing her to control you big time. It's been like this since day 1. If you read what you just wrote, you could hold it up to your first post and it's exactly the same.

I understand how your boys are hurting. My girls were hurting big time too. So be there for them when they need it, but stop carrying the cross on your shoulders.

There's your 2x4.