I'm dizzy now. I'm about to state the obvious. Ready...

WAS has exhibited and usually even expressed confusion, needing to find him/her self etc. So, no, we don't know and may never know who their authentic selves are. Even on their deathbeds they might proclaim that they acted inauthentically for the majority of their lives.

We are left to determine if we were a-ok prior to their departure or if we need to change. And I do believe, having given this more thought, that our behaviors do reflect who we are and vice versa. Maybe that is where we find our authenticity...do our behaviors match the essence of who we are? Obviously, this is sort of amorphous and impossible to define. Who is a self? And are we really any different from each other when we strip off the layers? I doubt it. Who we are, in the sense of how we live, what values we live by and what actions we take exhibit who we are. It is hard to see it any other way. So obviously, that can change drastically in a lifetime. For some, being one's own self will mean, shedding all inhibitions and taking the reigns off, just living on instinct. But that would mean that the "id" is the same as the "self" which I just can't stomach. And of course, I humbly differentiate myself from the WAS in this way. I guess my definition of self is shaping up to be the total of all of those parts including insecurities, hostilities, selfishness etc. and of course all of the "good" parts too. We have to decide which facets will rule. What yields the results and relationships we want in our lives? There have to be some decisions made and some determination as to which parts we will allow to rule and dominate. Ever hear this one?

An old Cherokee Indian was speaking to his grandson:

"A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy. "It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil--he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is good -- he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person, too."

The grandson thought about it for a long minute, and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."