Man Overboard

[25yearsmlc]

SMW,

Maybe, the serenity prayer below is for you too. Maybe that's what some are saying to you and maybe they fear you are using your faith to justify being stuck. I have mixed feelings and feel that it is true to an extent. However, your recent posts about the military aspects we discussed long ago, even if they are "excuses for being stuck" make some sense too. I do not know what help OR harm it is for the kids to remain in limbo though, but I'm not qualified to comment on that.

Ak, yes, you are in different boat. At any rate, here's the serenity prayer again and each of us has/had a balancing act. Serenity vs courage and A WHOLE OF Wisdom needed...

I do feel strongly that my h and I are together again b/c I was moving on without him. So yes to the detachment. Life was handing him some consequences. Not me. Life. And he saw that he was losing me and us and his R's with the kids. It was NOT a tactic. It was real. I was surprised at his efforts to reconcile in some ways. (ALMOST not so glad about the recon, as I was really starting to GAL and look forward to MY future, but now that I know I still have that, I'm stronger and better for it...make sense?)

Maybe the prayers on some of your posts come off too much as you hanging on ONLY to the idea of his return and setting yourself up for staying in denial and for too long...but now I'm thinking that the way it sounds may not be the way it is.??

We just returned from a big family trip and H did some repair work with d20. He sputtered at first and we had to have a private talk wherein I reminded him of what happened to HER, not "us" or HIM....but how SHE must have felt when he missed all those parts of her life, etc. He said he wanted "to finish strong" and I think he felt so alienated from HIS/OUR family it scared him.

And he got it. At least for the remainder of the trip h was more relaxed and listening and letting go of the control things. Yay for miracles!

I hope you'll both be in place wherein your h's want to fix things like that with the kids. Regardless of the M, it is sooo needed. SMW, I'll be sending good stuff your d9's way. Interesting that he was so close to her. I'd predict if he doesn't come home (and 18 months is a longer than usual A unfortunately) that he'll reach out to her in some other way and I hope she'll open her heart to that. Our d20 wrote to h on Father's Day that she "wants to let him back into her heart." I would have died if I had gotten a card like that but h was appropriately touched.

((( j )))

Serenity Prayer

God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.


My problem was not the courage one but the serenity one. I'm better now.
We each have to find our balance in this.