The friends here have given you some excellent advice. I have been here a bit more than a year, and can honestly tell you that this site, and the DB books saved my life.
I have been thru this not once, but twice. I was married to my first H for 19 years when I found out he was having an A with our good friend/neighbor. Like you, everyone knew...except me. I lost friends and family when I divorced him. I knew nothing about DB back then and it took years to heal myself.
Fast forward to my 2nd H, he was truly my best friend and a man I could trust after I thought I would never trust again. Guess what? Life happened, and he did what I never believed he would do. (check out my link to previous threads if you'd like) The difference this time was I had this site, the books and enough experience to realize that D is not(always)the answer. I settled in to do the DB homework and to make myself as strong and as good a person that I could be.
We have been able to reconcile and are now working on a strong and happy marriage, together.
The reason I tell you this is because I want you to know that there is hope. Today you can't possibly see that there will be a tomorrow. But it will come. Eventually you will get to a point when the pain eases enough that you can breathe a little. You will find your strength. Us girls are strong. Hold your head up and fight like a girl!
I see several good points in your post. If he needs to move out of the house, let him. If you can stay in your home I would do it. Don't make any decisions for awhile if you can help it. Try to keep calm, and if you can, detach from him a bit. If he didn't like her house before, trust me, as soon as real life sets in and his fog begins to lift he will really not like it again. We all know that nothing kills a romance like real life. It will be very hard for them to build anything solid on a foundation of lies. They will never be able to trust each other, and they haven't even begun to discover the damage they are causing.
Take care of yourself and keep breathing. You are safe here.
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
