There has to be dialog about it. No, you shouldn't have to be a mind reader- it's up to each person in a relationship to communicate what they are not getting out of it. You cannot take responsibility for her not telling you what she wanted.

In my case I did. He knew very well I didn't want to shoulder all the responsibility. Heck, I even talked to his parents separately and asked them to talk to him way before the A ever happened.

We were married 13 years. I would expect that after that time he would know me and care how I felt. Which he obviously really didn't. It's sad, because it really would have taken so little to please me........