WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 10

[confusedinpa]

"What I wanted to see was a partnership- someone who valued me- respected me- and most importantly someone who wanted to meet my needs. Someone who listened to me and took the time to intimately know me. "

CIPA, If you can get this you will be a happy man. I promise. Not one time does it mention what she will do in return. It's all about her. To a man that sounds kinda of selfish doesn't it? It's actually selfish (fearful) on our part not to treat and cherish our wives this way.
Reread what KittyFish wrote. Hang in there brother, you can handle it.

Coach

I agree 100% with you that understanding these sentences are very important.

I read these very same issues in many of the threads about our WAW's. I also heard about it in my small group that I joined in my church. The women there talked about how it bothered them that their husbands didn't treat them that way. However, they all said that they didn't say anything and let it build into resentment because the were afraid or didn't know how. I practically jumped out of my seat and had started saying WTF but caught myself as I was in church, but said that is the very thing that my wife said. None of them could say what they were afraid of or what was it that they didn't know in order to say it.

I guess the part that we, men and women, need to also come to agreement to is - what does some of the key words mean.

For example, in a partnership, what does that look like for each person? There are some partnerships where one person carries the ball as long as both enjoy the prize. Or there are some partnerships where you carry the ball the first 90% and I will drive it home due to different capabilities/skills. Or the traditional 50/50 partnerships.

So in other words, there needs to be some dialog/communication to set what the expectations are from both people to create the partnership. Or perhaps that is the part of what KittyFish wrote of taking the time to listen and to intimately know the other.

Or am I just being a DAM and I should just know (like my wife had expected).