Kerry, While you are asking her to take some responsibility there are elements of pleading which may have empowered her to continue along the wayward path. With an OM providing emotional support getting them to turn around is a tall order. In retrospect would you send the same letter again? (BTW I reached out this way at every major checkpoint in the process to no avail until I had tangible proof that the point-of-no-return was crossed)
The financial and social consequences of divorce clearly determines why the divorce rate in India for 1st time marriages is ~1% and in the US ~50%. If what your W did was not "rewarded" she would have thought 10 times. In the old days adultery was a huge punishable criminal offense. Now, esp. in the US, where serial monogamy and even adultery is socially acceptable, it is often rewarding.
