If your WAS would agree...

[NNP1965]

My ears are ringing....

ha ha I was hoping I could get you to come out and play!

First off, congratulations! For 20 years of M, for sticking out past June 1 and now you get those much needed and deserved benefits, and for not wavering when H 'begs'.

Thank you. Some days looking back I wish I would have filed the paperwork on the day I found out about the affair. But hindsight is 20/20. I have made plenty of mistakes, but for the most part I did the best I could with what I had.

Your growth and strength you have gathered is tremendous.

Thank you again, I do feel pretty good about the work I have done on and for myself.

I do wonder about your declining. Did you flat out decline in as - there is no way we will ever be back together or was there an option left open if H figures himself out?

H knows that I love him and what I really want is for our family to be intact. I was not harsh. I know from counseling that anything not dealt with WILL come back up and I am not willing to go through this again EVER. I know he is scared of the future without me, but I also think he was somewhat relieved that I did not accept. I have kind of always known that it would be up to me in the end to take the action if it came to that.

Also, is your separation legal and binding or just physical because he is being relocated?

H wants to stay married, but just be separated. That really does not work for me. I am taking a little trip next week and my plan is to decide what I want to do when I return. I am giving myself that time to think and decide.

How are the boys handling all this?

They are taking it hard, my oldest especially.

And, what about bff/ow? will that be a factor when H relocates?

I actually ran into bfh while I was out with friends last weekend. She was with another married man from where they work! She is nothing special, if it had not been her it would have been someone else. Maybe she and my H will end up together, either way she is totally not my concern.

There! plenty of things for you to talk about. Glad I could help. lol

I can always count on you!