"I do want my wife back, but am not hopeful that will happen. The closest analogy I can make is like winning the lottery. I do hope to win, but I will not be planning my future based on winning it. That doesn't mean that I'm not going to play."
By thinking that way, you're not 100% committed. It's like you're setting yourself up for failure and even expecting failure. To stay committed, you have to remain positive and have faith. Faith that you're trying your hardest and will succeed. Your success will either be from saving your M or in the knowing that you've tried and become a better person for it.
You will need that faith and commitment because if you think this part of the process is bad, you ain't seen nothing yet. Your feelings will go through so many more ups and downs, you will need your faith to serve as an anchor through all of it.
That's what you need to decide.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
