Well, my preschool report card said "she may be tiny but she knows what she wants."
So, I am small in frame but not in heart or mind or spirit. BUT, I feel small. I mean I think physically being petite for my whole life has sort of metaphorically shaped the way I view myself in the world. And, the flip side of that is that I overcompensate. I can be crass (definitely can hang with the guys) and bold and outspoken.
I think I would like to develop a softer strength. A quieter knowingness. I think being small and soft has just felt too vulnerable to me. But, it is that gentleness and that tenderness that I think I have lacked in my R with H and with others. Men scare me (epiphany). I think I took an if you can't beat'em join'em posture. Now, I would love to be that tender, gentle woman but H is not really safe. So, I can be that with others and I have already started. But when my buttons are pushed, tigress, mama bear, my macho side comes out. I'd love to make the shift on a deeper level. I'm certain the fear is the impasse and I'm sure the macho military men can relate and impart some wisdom. How do you relieve that instinct to defend, protect, go to battle? Seriously, I think I am really defensive.
BTW- I'm actually just about average height, just in a town full of tall people I guess...I'm not a "little person"...not that there is anything wrong with "little people"...YKWIM
