You don't get the DB the first time, and not the second or third. It takes time and practice. Keep reading, keep reaching out, Don't ask too many questions. Ask one to get him talking, listen if he talks, back off if he doesn't.

Learn to validate him. Keep your emotions under control while you are around him. Cry if you have to when you are alone. Set a time limit though. Far to hard to wallow in the grief.

Get up, go and do things, keep busy.

You are just getting started. I'm sorry to tell you this is a long road. You are not alone.

Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08,
S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012!
Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.