I like your suggestion, I'm just sure it will send him off the deep end. Oh well, it has to stop.
Remember, this can't be about him....and it shouldn't be about him. Boundries are about standing up for yourself, and the things that make YOU uncomfortable.
IF you make them about him, then they are a ploy and NOT respected...
Alright Mach, so are you saying I should just say what I want to say (to a certain extent, not in a b*tchy way) and not give thought to his attitude or reactions, or else it's about him? I try to handle these stupid situations in the way I think will cause the least drama with him, because I don't want to deal with the fallout afterwards. Is that a mistake?
Not trying to be difficult or anything, just asking. Yes, this stupid mental game with him is wearing me out. It would be much easier for me to just say whatever I really want and not worry about the outcome.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
Sometimes you have to be the bitchy way and shock some sense into them. If he expects you to just gently push him away then he will keep coming back. From what I have been reading, I think you have been handling yourself very well.
Thank you T2!! Oh, I've been a b*tch to him before... just not in a long time. I, too, at one point said to him that he was a sorry excuse for a person....lol... seems to be a popular phrase. An ugly insult that really doesn't say anything. Of course, it was after he had said something to me that was totally low and off the deep end. Glad I moved past all that. Have to strike a middle ground between mega b*tch and too gentle, hence being ignored.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
I wish mine would ignore me. I have to admit I was the MEGA b*tch of all time. I have learned a lot about myself since he has been gone and I am a new person now. I still have my moments that the b*tchiness comes back and I have to admit I tend to snap at the wrong people but I am learning to control it.
Try it the nice way first but if that doesn't work then turn on the b*tch power and let him have it.
Alright Mach, so are you saying I should just say what I want to say (to a certain extent, not in a b*tchy way) and not give thought to his attitude or reactions, or else it's about him? I try to handle these stupid situations in the way I think will cause the least drama with him, because I don't want to deal with the fallout afterwards. Is that a mistake?
Not trying to be difficult or anything, just asking. Yes, this stupid mental game with him is wearing me out. It would be much easier for me to just say whatever I really want and not worry about the outcome.
No, not at all.....What I'm suggesting is that you need to have this about you and the kids, and ONLY about you and the kids.
Lay down what you want to say, in a way that he will listen and NOT shut down.
Make it about ONE thing, don't throw in a " oh and another thing while we are talking" that will make them start hearing XMLC in their fillings....
Look, I'm just making a suggestion. Anyone else here is welcome to make them too....
This needs to a balance for YOU and the kids....not for anyone else here or him...
You do what is right for you.....
I've just found that an MLC'er tends to shut down when confronted, and it doesn't take very dam long for that to happen.
Don't try to tell him anything about him, just how it makes you feel in a way that will get through....
