he was back, i think

[mdoodles]

i spoke with my therapist today (she had the nerve to up and move and leave me!), but we continue over the phone which is very nice of her.

its clear that he is ambivalent with his decisions and will always be back and forth, because i let it, and everyone here has told me that.

and i know that.

kinda like the old song - sometimes love just aint enough...

there is a line that says - like a fool who never sees the truth, i keep thinkin somthings gonna change...

it most likely wont, although i cant let go of the hope.

im trying with baby steps for myself.

ihave not called him or texted him since sunday.

normally i would have texted him after he left last night. i did not.

i also stopped asking questions of any kind, except about the weather.

i also stopped going to the store.

im trying here. im moving on (slightly) in my head, and getting the house ready to be packed and moved.

but it felt good last night to atleast see he isnt ok, isnt fine, with his decision. it felt good to see him wanting me, and i cant help myself from roping him in and playing the game of attraction. nothing happened, but it felt good to know i still had it over him.

but i know that has to stop.