Hey, just say no and tell her that you will have the kids if she goes out of town. Don't debate, argue, or get pissed off. Just tell her. You are right, it's court ordered. Nothing she can control there. I'm really sorry you are dealing with all of this crap T.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
