If you want to protect your son, you need to take care of yourself. Scream in the car, cry in the shower, eat, sleep and talk to your C. Focus more on yourself, and less on how H is feeling.
You can't "fix" him, only he can fix himself.
At the present, I would NOT talk to family or friends. It will only make him VERY angry and most likely wear you out. Also, I know from experience that it will be uncomfortable when/if you and H reconcile. People will naturally take sides, and it may surprise you with how they line up. They are also going to make judgements and you may end up defending your decisions when you would just rather let the whole thing die quietly. Just my HO.
If his walls are up he isn't ready to listen to anyone else anyway.
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
