This is where we are having difficulty. Sexual detachment in a monogamous R is equivalent to showing no interest in sex at all. Since we are not going to go outside of the M, It really would have to mean faking disinterest in both our W and in sex in general.
Not necessarily. H took about 3 minutes for me to peak his sexual interest. I knew his libido hadn't disintegrated. But, I also knew that I might never have him again and that someone else might and could. That is a huge shift. It doesn't HAVE to be me. I am not obligated. This is tricky territory. Hopefully more men can speak on this because I don't know if you run the risk of crossing your own lines here.
It is scary but I think flirting and noticing other women can help your confidence. Truth be told, my H was out and getting so much attention from other women and likely involved in EA or PA...so, he had the upper hand there on the detachment (makes it exponentially easier obviously). I'm not sure how that works in this sitch. Can you set your sites on W AND work your mojo a little out in the world. Keep a firm boundary for yourself?
