First off..I'm terribly sorry for your loss..TBH I have no idea how you feel..I've dealt with death of friends and grandparents but have not been touched by that in my immedaite family...having said that...my dad was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer around the last of March...he has 12-18 months unless there is some miracle..so..I am attmepting to prepare myself but know at some point I will crash...
I really have no idea what my point is...other than what you feel is normal..the spinning is normal...think of the good times you too had together and know that he will never be forgotten and always be loved. With time to mourn and grieve the loss you will snap out of this and your life will seem better....your brother will always be with you in spirit and I'm sure he will be watching over you....it's what we brothers do...
do you have a pastor you could talk to?? or maybe a counselor??
as for XH..ignore him...he is no longer your "rock" and has not been for a long time.
Kris...you're gonna be OK...I'll say a prayer for you and your family..
