I see what you are saying about my friend. In fact, I would like to just stop being her friend, but I'm finding it hard. I complain to my husband often about her, I really don't enjoy being around her, but I can't seem to make myself stop talking to her. I keep thinking how I need to be there for her and how if anyone could help her, I could. And yet, I try to talk to her and she just doesn't "get it". I think she may have the BPD that DCBM's wife possibly has.
I have pulled away from her drastically. I don't answer her phone calls most times. I think she is going to move to another city soon and then I will have almost no contact with her. One problem is that her son and my son are friends. So, I see her when they play together.
My husband knows I don't approve of this friend's behavior. So, he doesn't see it as me rubbing it in his face. We have talked about it. She doesn't make me want to have another affair, in fact she does the opposite. I'm so glad I don't have her life.
I decided to let that last phone call from OM go. My H and I were doing well and I didn't want the OM to have that kind of power in my marriage. THat would have been exactly what the OM would have wanted...to stir things up. I said before, I know my H would be understanding about the phone call, but it wouldn't help HIM. I know my H and he would be fine if I didn't tell him and would understand why if he found out. He would see it as me being respectful of him to NOT tell him. I've done enough to wreck our intimacy, I'm not going to do anymore. We are trying to leave the past in the past. If the OM calls again, I will tell my H about the phone calls. Early on, I suggested we get another phone number, but my H didn't want that. Too many people would ask why and there are few who know about my affair.
Update: NOthing too big to update on. My H and I are still working on building the intimacy back.....this will take awhile since we had problems with it way before the affairs. But, we are making headway. I'm distancing myself from the old egf as much as possible. I think less about the OM than before (You would think he wouldn't cross my mind at all, but he still does. Just memories. Good and bad.) I'm still ashamed of what I did and at night it causes sleep problems. All I can think about is what all of my close family and friends would think if they knew what I did. It's hard to be ashamed of myself, I can't imagine having my friends and family ashamed of me. That would kill me. I worry about my soul, too.
