Grey is where most of life really happens...I've always tried to be conscious of living with the ambiguity inherent in being alive. I think sometimes we think we are doing it fairly well and get challenged in these monumental ways...death, divorce etc. Can I really thrive and love and live fully when the pieces aren't all put together?

Kudos to you SP for being able to do that. And, thanks for expressing it so well. When I feel that overwhelmed, knot in my stomach sensation, I can remind myself that it is the ambiguity taunting me, challenging me. Live with it, through it and be me regardless of what is happening.

It is interesting. Everyone around me wants an answer. What's happening with H? Is he going to come back? What are you going to do? They want definitive answers as if somehow the challenges of life would all fade away and we would drift off into happy land. There are obviously decisions that have to be made and with children there does seem to me more of a motivation to settle or resolve into some predictable normalcy. But, it is an illusion of sorts anyway.