Bad day, field trip with my D,5 and her classmates for yearend. Tried to make the best of it for her, but have this nagging feeling that I have made a poor decision regarding letting my W stay in the house as long as she wants while she goes to school.
I expressed this to her while driving to town for the fieldtrip and it was not very well received, I just said that I wasn't sure that I could do it.
Not sure what I was thinking when I made the offer, actually that's a lie, I was thinking that the longer I could get her to stay in the house the better my chances would be.
More of the same feelings all day and sadly it put a bit of a damper on the mood of the whole day.
Stopped on the way home to do a little shopping, W went in and I stayed in the truck with kids, when she came out of the store I stayed parked and made her walk to where I was, then didn't even get out to help her with her bags, real mature.
After we got home I helped her get her bags in the house and then I got in my truck without saying a word and left, just needed to get away and think for awhile.
Came home a couple of hours later feeling alot more focused, came in, told W that I was sorry but I just couldn't let her stay while she went to school, I just can't look at her face every day for the next year knowing the way she feels(ILYBINILWY).
So we're back to the same old she's out at the end of summer routine, and quite frankly I don't know how I'm going to make it that long either, guess I better "just suck it up" and find the strength.
I honestly feel that once she gets out of the house she will start to see the bigger picture. I know that she will not have an easy time of it working full time and only seeing the kids on weekends and the occasional night. I'm sure coming to my house to pick up the kids from the Nanny will be a new experience for her after being a stay at home Mom and the primary caregiver for our three kids for the last five years.
Perhaps some loneliness will help her snap out of the whole "I don't have anything left to give" routine.
