I pray for wisdom for you, and for discernment. I know you'll do the right thing.
Puppy
Thank you, Puppy! You are so wise. Gosh, you and many other ppl here saved me yesterday. H still denies, now more quietly, that he had no PA with the therapist. I can't spend any more time agonizing over it. If he doesn't want to tell me, there is nothing I can do about it. I can think the worst of him and move on with my life or accept what he's said and see if anything can be rebuilt. I would like to report the therapist not for revenge but b/c it would be the right thing to do, though my mom is urging me not to right now. I hope you have a good day.
Me 39, H 41 M 17, T 21 Son, 4 Bomb 2.09, Two EAs Separated 8.4.09 My Long Story and First Postings
Let us know what you decide to do, and how we can help.
Puppy
Thank you, everyone! (((HUGS))) Last night on the way home from work, I had a good primal scream/crying fit. I begged God to help me. I'm just so distraught. I lost 2 more lbs. My Mom keeps "talking me off the ledge" hypothetically speaking of course. I'm going to see my C tomorrow, thank the Lord. My Mom has said to just stop thinking about him. He's accused me of being unstable. But, I think he has been for the last 2 1/2 years. I'm not sure if his affair fog is lifting, but he seemed kind of dysphoric/despondent this morning and when he came to see me at work. He said "I'm just emotionally exhausted." I'm so turned around, I don't know what to do next except scream. I just want to protect my son from all of this madness.
One of H's friends is a psychologist. He's an old college buddy and I consider him my friend too. H hasn't told anyone about his therapist I'm sure. Should I try talking to any of his friends or his brother or sister? Should I cross over that confidentiality line/family and friends boundaries and reveal anything to his friends or family? So far, I have told no one except my confidants. I wouldn't do it to shame him at all; on the contrary. Maybe they could help him in a way that I cannot right now b/c he has walls up.
Thanks from the bottom of my broken heart everyone.
Me 39, H 41 M 17, T 21 Son, 4 Bomb 2.09, Two EAs Separated 8.4.09 My Long Story and First Postings
If you want to protect your son, you need to take care of yourself. Scream in the car, cry in the shower, eat, sleep and talk to your C. Focus more on yourself, and less on how H is feeling.
You can't "fix" him, only he can fix himself.
At the present, I would NOT talk to family or friends. It will only make him VERY angry and most likely wear you out. Also, I know from experience that it will be uncomfortable when/if you and H reconcile. People will naturally take sides, and it may surprise you with how they line up. They are also going to make judgements and you may end up defending your decisions when you would just rather let the whole thing die quietly. Just my HO.
If his walls are up he isn't ready to listen to anyone else anyway.
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
I wouldn't expose just yet to friends or family, but I think you DEFINITELY need to expose his counselor. It's an unconscionable breach of professional ethics, and this woman is a PREDATOR and needs to be disciplined.
I wouldn't expose just yet to friends or family, but I think you DEFINITELY need to expose his counselor. It's an unconscionable breach of professional ethics, and this woman is a PREDATOR and needs to be disciplined.
Puppy
I cannot stress this enough either. As someone who has been in and out of therapy I hate to think about this predator playing on troubled people's emotions- which is what she's doing.
It's not out of revenge, it's because it's the right thing to do.
Ask your counselor when you go and see what they say.
She needs to be without a job. I'm sorry for her children- but they are not your responsibility. She is the one who put them in jeopardy and if I had to guess this is not the first time she has done this.
I agree! What she has done is a terrible breach of ethics.
However, when you do the right thing, the details usually have a way of working themselves out.
Her children will be fine. Women like this usually aren't real strong in the maternal instinct area. Obviously she doesn't care much about your young son, and she's a therapist? This is so wrong!
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
Therapists can be just as messed up as anyone else because they are human alas. The difference is that she took a oath not to do what she's done and this is her livelihood.
