Congratulations on your new teaching placement. I know you are super excited. I understand where you are right now. I think I am there too. I would love to have my husband back, but that would have to be the one he promised me when we met. The one who was going to keep his promises and didn't lie to me. I am coming to the realization that I just need to let it all go and focus on me and what I want right now. I want peace in my mind, my house and yard to be a place that I enjoy coming home to, physical fitness (my ultimate goal is to be able to run a 10k), and my children to be provided for emotionally and monetarily. These are the things I have control of. The other stuff is just mental BS that is messing with my PMA. I have a counseling appointment tomorrow and I do believe I will be requesting some medications to help me. This overwhelming feeling I am going through and the anxiety coupled with nightmares is getting to be a bit much to get through on my own. smile I don't live far from you! If you ever need someone to chat with. I'm around!

"It is excruciating pain. It is the pain of separation, the pain of loss, the pain of dreams and expectations unrealized. It is the loss and death of a mirage."