Today is my one year anniversary of the bomb. There is still nothing legal filed. I live in our home and he lives with his Mom & Dad. Some days are still tough, this one in particular, but I have faith that things will continue to improve.
Whether that improvement will include him or not remains to be seen. I still hope it does.
You can do this.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
Wifey, I am so sorry. It must have been a hard day for you today. I cannot imagine having been here for that long...you are doing the right thing by keeping the faith. I am also, although I must be feeling your pain today because it has proven to be a hard one. Do you and H live close to each other?
Just venting now... I had a terrible day emotionally. I am sure my "time of the month" HAS to have something to do with why I have been unable to control my crying for the last two days. Sorry if this is too much info for some, but it is utterly RIDICULOUS!!!! Ugh. I am soooooooooo emotional. Part of me wants to call my H and cry. Not to make him feel bad, or even to make him come home...just because I miss him and want to hear HIM reassure me that everything will be ok. Not as my H but just as a friend. (I am not going to call him). I just want to know IF and WHEN it is ok or appropriate to let the WAS know that you are sad about your situation??? After all, h texts me everytime HE is feeling sad. What the heck??
I'm sorry you're having a tough day. It's more than OK to feel sad, but IMHO I don't think now is the right time to tell H you feel sad. You need to be acting 'as if' and while you're not happy with his choices, you are getting on with life.
You mentioned on my thread you read 'Eat, Pray, Love' (which I haven't finished). Do you have another book, or an old favorite, that you can grab to lose yourself in the story? Do something for yourself tonight like read, paint your toes or watch a movie, and I bet you'll feel better tmrw!
I do not think that it woud help my sitch to tell him. It is just that it is like the pain is talking to you...telling you that if only you could make the H understand HOW BAD this hurts, aches, debilitates, and how wrong it FEELS...there would be no way he could continue on this path. He might not find it humanly possible to do this to someone.
Yeah right.
I feel so irrational right now. Is it normal to feel like there are people out there who are happy about this? I mean, I just got paranoid today for the first time that there are people "friends" we have that might get a kick out of us splitting up. I am sure this is ridiculous...since EVERYONE I KNOW is sad, and just as confused, shocked, surprised as I am. But is this a normal fear?
I have soooo many books...I am really ridiculous though, I can't concentrate on them. I will go to sleep...and when I wake up 5 times in the night sweating and dreaming of life before the bomb...I will read a book. I am sure I will get to where I can read a book and not relate everything directly to my sitch!!!!
HELP!!!!!!! I woke up this morning to a text from H sent at 12:30am. It said this:
"I'm really sad, I don't know exactly why. but I have nobody to tell...I know I miss the girls. i miss u. but I still feel the same. sorry. I ha........."
Then it cuts off and I don't know what the rest said!!!!!!!
I don't know what to do or if I should respond. He obviously is feeling the same about me...but questioning things. I have to play this right.....I don't to push him away.
H texted me again just now asking about taking the girls today. I didn't even have time to respond to the last one...and first thing he is texting me about picking them up and what time should he drop them off.
ANY advice would be helpful here.
Should I just not respond to the first one. I want him to know I got it.
If I don't answer, will he think I don't care. Will he stop...siince he feels he has no one to tell??? I am so confused. I need GOOD DB strategy here!!!!
