You think actions can surmount those horrible feelings I have related to detachment?
I have felt like I am on Hs ride since our R started.
I am a mostly SAHM and with H away so much, I have been looking for work and working on an online biz that is almost ready to launch.
The overhead where we live now is way too high.
I do not have clarity yet as to where we will go. I have a lot of ideas. Trying to consider area, kids school, my family, where I want to live (I've always wanted to get a bit out of town but got to consider other factors)...
I am trying to breathe and look at each possibility and know that when I'm clear I'll make a move. Not sure how to get that clarity.
But, for now, I am trying to do what I would do without H. Sometimes I really just want to stay still and work on me before making any moves.
I have been very much on my own these past few months (other than when he comes to town and we engage)...I don't mind being alone. I mind my kids suffering and I mind not wearing my wedding ring and I mind the feelings and nightmares. Overall, I'm a tough cookie and I do well on my own.
I suppose if I think of myself as already D...I want my own place and my own life.
