How do I not let this control my every thought?

[Travis]

I think I did a good job for a change tonight. My son got to pitch in his first ever game tonight. He did real well. I was able to hold back the venom I feel and went to my WAW after the game and said, "Our boy did good tonight." I actually looked her in the eye tonight for the first time in weeks.

It was still hard, so I know there are still feelings, but I could actually smile when I said it. I walked the boys out to her car and helped her get them loaded up and told boys I'd see them tomorrow night (for my whopping 3 hours of visitation). I still can't stand to see my FIL. He brought my son to the game like he was the greatest grandfather in the world. Funny, he lives 45 minutes away and he couldn't come see his grandkids but about once a year when we were together.

Now, he sees my kids more than me. Pisses me off. Oh well, I was proud of my son tonight. He's been wanting to pitch all year and I finally felt like he was ready. He did good. Then reality sets in when i come home to this quiet house.