Seperated

[LitlHopeAlwys]

Hi LHA -

I'm not the best DBer, so take my feedback with caution. My opinion from what I read is that you're doing a pretty good job overall. There will be ups and downs and backslides.

The fact that your W is still hurt and angry and still contacts you from time to time is somewhat positive. It's also positive that she doesn't have an OM in her life.

I'm still living with my W, but she has told me that she wants to be with someone else (she actually works with OM in same dept). We basically live like roommates now, but still sleep in the same bed and give each other a kiss before going to work (basically a routine, but it's hard for me to give up the kiss before we leave). I write this because I think it is easier for someone (I could be wrong) to reconcile when there isn't an OM or OW involved.

My W said the same thing: she tried and tried and tried and now she has given up all hope -- similar to your W's flower analogy. In my situation, my W truly believes that I never had strong feelings for her as she did for me and this was the reason why she didn't feel "loved" by me. She does feel loved by the OM though.

Anyway, I just wanted to encourage you keep on trying and keep on DBing... I've learned that each situation is different and sometimes it's okay to go a little "off track" from time to time. I'm having some big problems on detaching, so I know what you're going through...

Thanks SMM - every bit of advise does help along with everything that is read here.
It seems our stiches have some similarities, I am trying to learn from my mistakes, back slides, and the advise of others(different view points are always a good thing).

I saw W again tonight - she had asked me to help with her bike to make sure she didn't break anything.
I took my usual bike ride, but made a side trip and stopped into see her. Never finished my long ride - played with son and chatted with W for too long and didn't feel like riding in darkness, so I cut it short.
W didn't break anything on bike at all - she had a nut on backwards and couldn't get it tight enough.

We actually had a good conversation about a few different things - she has telling me how she is looking for a doctor to do thermal body image scanning - she went into details - I'm not going to right now - nothing wrong with her though.
We talked about her job, and how she thinks a couple of people may be terminated due to issues with their licenses and insurance costs(one of which is OM from EA, although she denies it says she was in love with the idea of being in love with someone like him - until she saw the real him - I was there when that happened and he was an @%^$&*#@). She expressed her disinterest about having to be in early Thursday to go with owner and couple others to a training seminar.

Then when i don't expect it, she asks if I got her reply to my email - I told her I did and that I replied back to her yesterday - she said she never got it, and if I could resend it to her. I told her I would resend it, although I haven't yet, and I'm not sure that I really want to. Maybe its a sign that she never got the email.
I'm going to sleep on it and possibly write a different reply if i do choose to send it, although right now I am leaning more towards just dropping it and letting it go.