he was back, i think

[PositivelyMommy]

Anything less than real detaching is going to sound false. If you are pretending to detach, he will sense it. So you really need to make up your mind once and for all. Are you keeping the door open for him whenever he deigns you worthy of attention? Or are you going to close this chapter of your life and move ahead?

Being married for so long, we have strong intuitions regarding our spouses and they us.

What is wrong with asking him to pack his stuff? You are showing him that you deserve better than being a 'backup'. If he gets mad at you and thinks you are not trying, then you can give him a letter abt how you feel.

E.g. I cannot live like this anymore, I want to try at our M and have tried for the past two years but not under the current cicumstances i.e. limbo. When you are ready to recommit then I will need proof (e.g. no contact, total transparency) however, if you feel you cannot prove to me your commitment then I rather not have you at all. For my peace of mind and happiness, this is my choice.

Something to that effect so he knows exactly where you stand and can never come back and say that you 'gave up on him' or that 'you didn't care' or ' you didn't fight for him'. You fought for two years, a long hard slog.


The problem is whatever excuse he has come up with, you take it as if it's the absolute truth. Well, it's not. Listen to your inner voice, you know he is not on the up and up. You don't have to believe EVERYTHING he says.