he was back, i think

[mdoodles]

thank you. truthfully, i do not wish to wait anymore.

but i also know us, and know him, and know how ambivalent we both are.

i think my plan of action is as follows:

i go on as if he is not coming back.

the house is selling regardless and i have to move in 2-3 months.

my plan is to go without him.

perhaps in the next few months, something will change.

i saw the change in him today. if change continues, i would demand certain things to be, set the boundaries that i never enforced.

i would not continue with him without counseling, without proof ow is out of the picture.

the truth is, it feels good to see him wanting me, it feels good when the softening occurs, because the ugly stuff is not fun, the pain is not fun.

i think it is one day at a time.

i know if he came home, this stuff would happen again if he didnt fully admit to the problems, admit to his ambivalence and truly want to work on it.