How Do You Forgive?

[eternaloptimist]

I personally would contact a professional and get those emails back and report her. No matter what the outcome is, that type of predatory behavior is not appropriate or ethical for someone who has that type of relationship with people. Most people do not enter counseling because they are fine, have no problems and are completely in charge/control of their emotions and faculties.

Also from my perspective, your H is not being honest or forthright with you and his deletion of the evidence tells me there is something to hid. Get the Not Just Friends book and read it. It helps.

Thankfully, I do have copies of two emails as a result of pretty good snapshot software on the computer. So I can use them to report her to the social workers' license board in my state. If I can do that and protect my H's identity, I'm going to do it. I have a close friend who is a social worker and she has already offered to help me. H does not want me to report her; he just wants to put this all behind us which tells me he DOES have more to reveal to me and/or his loyalties are egregiously misplaced because she helped him with his grief. He's been guilting me into staying quiet for fear it will affect our family. Well---duh, it already has anyway! I guess he's worried about incriminating himself and getting into trouble at his own job, though he says he doesn't want anything to happen to her kids who are innocent. I've said, well, she should have thought about that before she engaged in this "friendship" with you.

Bottom line for me...if I can expose her with little to no harm to my family...and even if H says I'll divorce you over this if you report her...maybe I don't want to be married to someone who could let this slide?