Pondering the idea of friendship with my W. Friendship inside of the marriage. A friendly marriage with no romance, sex, or intimacy.
I think that it is what my W wants - that for now we stay friendly and cooperative without any hint or expectation of anything more.
We have discussed it and agreed to proceed on this basis in the past, but always I was agreeing only because I saw it as a bridge to move forward- something better than the alternative of D, and something temporary until I could get the romance started again. I never really accepted it as a potential long term situation.
Therefore I probably never removed the pressure on my W.
It is probably the best way forward and the best way for us to rebuild, but for it to succeed, it has to be real from my part - not just something I pretend to accept.
It is probably also the best way for me to get some space to work on myself.
But would I be able to successfully stave off my sex drive and the romantic feeling that I have for my W? While also knowing that a permanently platonic R would be unacceptable to both me and my W?
And therefore the question. Am I really ready to move ahead with a completely platonic "friendship" for a marriage. Am I able to do that?
Do I have a choice?
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
