Hey S and hi Mach, S, listen, it really is time to stop engaging with him because this is not healthy for either of you. I know you are a nice person with a good heart, but it really is for the best. He needs to man up. You need to feel safe and move forward.
I think simple, straight forward and firm is best. You could just say, "I want you to stop calling or texting me unless it has to do with the children. And you are not to show up at my house without an invitation. I am sorry you are struggling, but it really is not my problem" or something to that effect.
Keep it short because he probably will only be listening to the first three or four sentences.
And I'll take a drink with a cute umbrella in it, please.
