So, he is "trying" using the things he's learned in the past? That's interesting. I was feeling that he wasn't doing that. My mistake. So, the trick is to direct him away from the past and towards the future, without have to take total control, I guess?
I'm thinking a few things.... first, make sure he knows you see him trying, and that you do appreciate it. But without going overboard. Otherwise, he's going to curl up into a little ball and give up. At the same time, let him know that you would like him to try something different. Tell him that you can't tell him exactly what it is. Tell him how you would like to feel. Then, when he does anything that could possibly be considered as "trying" this, make really, really sure he knows it is seen and appreciated. Don't make him guess. He's probably as near to giving up as you are, so try to help him stay motivated.
One other thing to think about.... is it possible that he is looking for something from you, and not seeing it? Maybe you can try something different, too. Make it something for yourself, but something that can be good for him, too.
