What other tactic can I use to draw out the truth? I will be moving out at the end of the summer if he had a PA w/her. I guess I need to say that to him.
You don't need to say ANYTHING to him right now. Get that "NOT Just Friends" book, and read it. Don't make any major decisions or ultimatums in the meantime. IF he persistently, and seemingly sincerely, says to you "What can I do to show you ...." then you can ask for full transparency, but I'd just drop it for now, and operate from a position of assuming he had a very deep EA.
I do think that, based on just HER e-mail, that ethically this needs to be fully exposed to her at work.
