How Do You Forgive?

[eternaloptimist]

all i can say is dont make any decisions while angry. think it out.

do u really want to throw him out? are u sure u cant move past this?

it is extremely hard, but think really hard, because if he goes and in 2 days u are sorry, then what?

i would take some time to decide your course of action.

if u know for sure, in your heart, that u cannot move past an affair, and not everyone can, then u know what to do.

my point is this - everyone thinks they know what they would do, when it happens to someone else. but then it happens to you.

try to digest it all before u make any decisions.

its not easy.

My H was only the 2nd person I ever dated and my only lover. When we dated, I told him that I could never forgive infidelity. He felt the same way. That was 21 years ago. I can't forgive it. I just can't. I deserve better. Staying with him would DISRESPECT me to the core and he knows it, which is why I'm sure he'll never admit it. His friend who was murdered had affairs. When we were talking about his affairs, I coldly told him that ppl who have affairs are "scum bags." He seemed hurt. Red flag! There are other things that have come up in our conversations that give me pause now and more evidence that he's lying to me still. Right after he dropped the bomb, I was on the phone with him and I was calm and rational and said, "Well, at least neither one of us had an affair." He was quiet and sheepishly said, "yeah." That should have been my RED FLAG to suspect something. I'm not angry just mortally wounded and forever disappointed. I can't come back from that, I just can't.