What should I do/think?

[eternaloptimist]

Hi. I wish I had some great insight/advice. I'm sure other ppl here will offer some better words of wisdom than me. But, I have a son who is 4, so I can relate to the stress of parenting a young child with all of this chaos. It's the most awful thing I've ever experienced. ((HUGS to you.)) You are not alone in all of this.

It sounds like you are doing all of the GALing pretty well. I've read some great advice that the GALing should be for YOU not him. Have you tried any 180s? Those seem to work for me pretty well. I also recently read the book, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It was insightful and has helped me figure out not only the type of love I like to receive but also what kinds of positive emotional efforts my H might respond to best. The five love languages are words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.

Basically, the book boils down to this point: We all like to receive love in different ways. The trouble is figuring out the ways. When the WAS seeks an affair, my limited understanding about this is that the affair meets the spouse's needs in some way that are not being met by the marriage. What needs does your H get met with the OW? Maybe try to look at that and use it to inform your actions? I hope this helps.