Jeff, this is where I get mad and also hesitate to pronounce this marriage dead. Because when he says he doesnt know how, believe me, it is true because he is looking in the past and what he gives now WAS enough. I was not asking for more. He has no reference of everyday routines. For YEARS we didnt talk about work, friends etc. This is where I feel I am responsible for, a lot. I enabled him to drain us out during our marriage and then the rest were easy to follow. You see I "taught" him how he should be a husband by giving the minimum. I took over the rest. Now he is scratching his head thinking "why doesnt SHE lead, where do I go wrong?"
What he did: went to MC, I dont want to go back to her and I am not suggesting it went to IC spends every single moment he has with us suggest lunches out during the weekend everytime (it was before bomb our only "dates") buys me stuff (bought me a pair of Salvatore Ferragamo sunglasses this weekend ) when I suggest something he agrees is very careful, tiptoeing when he is in the house, not to push (he said he gives me space) has no issues visiting my extended family (insisted to go to the wedding and christening with me) cooks and helps the kids with school to lift the burden off me talks to his friends and family as if we are together already considers changing jobs (I believe he is thinking about it because of us) and a few more earlier in this process... K
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