25 - I get your point. I think the real problem is that either the lawyers, the LG or the divorce courts of New York failed the kids by not first establishing a firm parenting plan. It would then be up to the parents to negotiate for minor "change of plans", but in the end the legal parenting plan would be the fallback when FIB's W was being unreasonable and too controlling of time with the children.
FIB - I think you need to put the hot iron on your L to get the parenting plan and/or custody resolved. This should be done before division of assets and spousal support. Also, find out from your L how to report the negligence of the LG and how to get a new LG assigned.
As a side story about how anger can drag your life down...my brothers X was found dead in a motel room at a Washington border town this last Friday. She had stolen money from her employer and tried to enter Canada but was turned back. Her ID was found in Canada and her body in the USA. Foul play ala Psycho? What really matters is how she got to her final place - anger and alcohol/drug abuse. Over the years she spawned other kids from different fathers, blamed her problems on my brother and our side of the family, had her son leave as a teen to live with my brother and she seemed to thrive on being angry.
It is a shame that FIB's wife cant be given some shock therapy so as to convince her where her life is headed because of her anger and spite. Maybe the best thing is to play hardball, but that is touchy when you are living in the same house.
