How can you heal from infidelity when your spouse vacillates about whether to rebuild or divorce? This is the pergatory I'm stuck in right now.
Emotional detachment is necessary. At a certain point your spouse has to either take responsibility for the M to heart, or not. It is intensely difficult for the betrayed spouse to watch the roller coaster of emotions the wayward spouse experiences as they pine over their lost lover. But it is a part of the process, so taking a step back, recognizing it, and focusing on your end goal is what you hope for.
Regardless of whether they want the M or not - they need to cut off contact completely from the lover so that they can let the fog clear.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
