Yes, I agree, it was all weird and secret, and probably not a good idea. I'm sure she didn't tell OM about our meeting. I did have a feeling like "turnabout is fair play," as in I can play this game too.
On the one hand, I feel like I've joined the sleazy game I hate. On the other hand, she's my W, so why should I feel guilty about meeting up with her? These were the kind of things that were fun when we were dating.
No, I don't want to get my hopes up. I just got my confidence back, and I'm enjoying how she's responding to it. Not a great way to detach. Having the walls down around her is just so appealing. Keeping those walls up was exhausting.
I'm not deluding myself that this means a whole lot. She's lonely and was happy to have company. In many ways I feel pretty detached, as in I'm happy to have other plans that don't include her, but I can't deny my connection and attraction to her.
