How Do You Forgive?

[eternaloptimist]

The problem you have is, that if it IS over, he's going to say it's over. And if it's NOT over, he's going to say it's over. All cheaters lie -- PERIOD.

There are things you can do that are much more affordable than a PI. Have you considered putting a keylogger on his computer?

If I'm reading you right, you WOULD have the ability to forgive and "let go" if you KNEW it was over, right?

Puppy

Hi, Puppy. Ah, yes, the marvels of IT. I downloaded software that captures everything. That is how I found out about this person to begin with. That is how I found out that my H set up a private gmail account to communicate with her. I trapped her into emailing me b/c I set up a gmail account that was only one-letter off from the one my H set up and bingo---she emailed me. That is how I saw the professions of her feelings! Pretty slick of me, no? I should have waited though to see his reply to her b/c I'll never know what he might have said. He said he was "just as shocked" to see her gush out these feelings. Lie? Or am I too gullible?

But, now he's on to me. I only admitted to having keylogger software not screen captures. He never checks his work email at home now, so he could still be communicating with her by phone or email at work, or even seeing her during the day. They work in the same town and just both ran in a marathon. That is when I confronted her. It was pretty ugly.

He has said he will have NO MORE contact with her. He threw out her business card (or so I thought) that was in his wallet and I know that he deleted the gmail account that he created b/c I had to help him do that. Wish I could get into his office to search his computer... All of this is making me crazy!

Last week, he accused me of tapping his phone conversations b/c of some software on our computer. I didn't install anything but he accused me anyway. I said that it hurt b/c I had only been monitoring the computer not his phone. That was a big blow out fight. Is this a sign that he might still be hiding something?